|written May 10, 2001
My name is Kasia. I'm a four-year-old golden retriever who is employed by Shred Dogs, Inc., a company formed by some of my four-foot internet friends and me. I was just nominated for Employee of the Year. Why did I receive this nomination? Well, let me tell you. Mom and Dad have always thought the United States Government should be hiring me for shredding classified documents. To keep up with my skills, last week I practiced shredding in my crate. Since I am known for my good shredding, I'm crated when Mom and Dad are not home. I just put in a roll of toilet paper when they were not looking. I run in my crate each morning at seven and stand there waiting for Mom to give me my treat and close the door. She never saw the toilet paper. I had a super duper time till Dad discovered it when he came home for lunch. As I mentioned, Mom and Dad are aware of my shredding abilities and take precautions when they leave. But my most recent escapade occurred when they were home, but sleeping. Dad had just been to the bank to get some money for an upcoming business trip. He gets lots because he wants to be prepared. Mom was planning to go shopping the next day and instead of just handing her some money, he laid ALL of it on the table for her to take the small amount she needed. They never gave that money another thought and off they went to bed. This money was twenty one-hundred German mark bills. That amount is valued at approximately one thousand American dollars. The bills were nicely rolled and secured with a rubber band. Well, you can imagine what I did next. I removed that rubber band and never even broke it. And then I started shredding all those bills. Oh, what a fun time I was having. Then I left my "handiwork" on the couch and went to bed. When Mom and Dad got up, Mom saw shredded paper. She thought I had shredded an envelope, but then she took a closer look. Oh, no! She couldn't believe that I had shredded ALL that money. She started picking up pieces and tried to put them together. When many pieces were missing she knew just where they went. Now I do have a sister, a yellow Lab. Maybe she would get the blame. But Dad said, "The proof is in the pooping!" Sure enough, the next day there was no doubt who the guilty one was! Then Dad jokingly stated that I was like the goose that laid the golden egg only I "laid" hundred mark bills.
written May 31, 2001
Hi everyone. It's Kasia. Remember me. I'm the one who ate all the hundred mark bills. Well, my Mom decided she was NOT above "money laundering" when it came to that amount of money so she waited a day or two and poop scooped. Dad stayed way way away. He wanted absolutely no part of the "money laundering" scheme. But Mom said it wasn't all that bad as she was laundering all those tiny pieces of bills. The next task was putting the pieces together. It took her several days before the job was completed. She was able to find all the serial numbers for all the bills I chewed up. Three of the twenty bills I left untouched. She taped the pieces together and then taped them to sheets of paper and put them in a plastic bag. Then off to the bank she went. The bank took the money, but told Mom she would have to wait. Well, Mom and Dad waited and waited and kept checking their bank account. Finally, the deposit was there after making its way through the system.